Saturday, June 20, 2009

Turning the Seasons

I had been invited and made a plan to join friends on their annual early morning hike into Baxter State Park here in Maine, to view and photograph the elusive and delightful moose in their morning adventures. Now, anyone who knows me or has read my writings since my arrival in this great state, knows of my desire to see these great creatures, and my frustration at their apparent scarcity. I've been here over a year and have seen just one, loping along the Interstate in the evening gloom. Not even a chance at a photo op!

I was so frustrated by their failure to appear that, when I adopted a black fuzzy kitten from a friend last year, I named her Moose! And yes, I sleep every night with a Moose curled up by my side, but it's not quite the same thing...

Anyways, as time for the annual hike and moose watch approached, I felt more and more conflicted over my commitment. My body complained -- loudly and madly with pain and stiffness -- that I am not up to hiking. The garden filled with weeds that steadfastly refused to disappear. Work -- both at the corner store and under my several other hats -- proliferated. Each, by itself was not enough to stop me from going and collectively they were not -- in all honestly -- what was weighing on my mind saying "not this year."

But something WAS there... and as I tried to fathom why I felt I should stay at home... and as my friends who were going on the expedition tried with increasing vigor to persuade me ... nothing clicked as "yes, this is why."

Until just this morning.

Tomorrow, the day of the hike this year, is Summer Solstice. Litha for the Pagans, and thus "should be" a good day for being out and about. In fact, just thinking about going into the park brought back memories of a wonderful Solstice on Bear Island in NC a few years ago...

But I keep hearing that I need to be here, on "my" land... on the land I tend and care for, and then, today as I looked at the timing of sunrise on Weather Underground I noted that not only is tomorrow Solstice, but the following day is New Moon.

A new season coming that close to a new moon means, to me, there is much stirring of the pot to be done, and as Volva of the Northlands, that means I need to be here, preparing and working and "doing what I do" as my kids would say.

Y'know, I find this part of my life very strange. Not, as one might expect, the part where I walk with one foot in 2009 and one foot in the mists of antiquity... not the part where I am supposed to share insights and wisdom from Gods and Goddesses that most think are at best myth and at worst... well we don't go there. No the part that is strange is that for most of my life I have walked the path of solitude in comfort but not necessarily by choice; now I am surrounded by friends and must figure how to continue my solitary path without offense to those I am connected to and care about.

And so, as much as I want to see moose, to share this experience with my friends and will be sad not being there tomorrow, I know I am to be here, working the Magics necessary in this time and space, for the benefit of all.


Clare said...

I feel the very same way, Jj....You're not alone!

oldcrow61 said...

I know exactly how you feel. There will be another time to see the moose.